I was greatly disappointed by this most recent Apocalypse. Despite the prior reviews by such luminaries as Ponce de Leon and Hernan Cortes, which promised quite the show, I was left wondering what all the fuss was about. I had decided to go with New Zealand sauvignon blancs for the end of the world (this is after all byob) and had picked up my favorite selections (the grapefruit finish of Kim Crawford is refreshing), thinking that a cab would be too heavy for this event. My Gruyere and Swiss to go along with this were wasted; the dog has been eating charcuterie for the last two days although it doesn’t agree with her.
Really, though, the problems arose from placing too much trust in non-elite reviews. Columbus, with no picture of himself and just 7 reviews, said there would be meteors. Vespucci (like he knows anything about exploring or the Mayans), 12 reviews, promised the arrival of Nibiru. I swear, this is the last time I trust the “orange head” anonymous writers, and I suspect the Mayan Apocalypse (MP) required some of their staff to write bogus reviews. What some people will do to generate business. Clearly, they’ve taken a page out of Harold Camping’s playbook.
I’ve flagged these reviews and I trust Yelp corporate will pound them like the fist of and angry god.
Congratulations, Steve. We hereby nominate you The Most Uninteresting Man In The World.