By Cole Stryker and Katie Baker - The consumer review site Yelp is a wonderful resource, especially to those who have recently moved to a new city (me). Most of the users offer helpful tips and warnings that have revolutionized the way that people decide where to eat, drink and two-step. However, it’s also full of insufferable douchebags and divas. I enlisted the help of my friend Katiebakes, a lady with a knack for reducing annoying people to their idiosyncrasies who shares my love/hate relationship with Yelp. Together we have developed a field guide to the 13 most annoying people you’ll meet on Yelp.This fried chicken place has bettah breasts than my ex-wife! So I says to the waitress, I says, ‘No, but I’ll have anudduh Diet Coke!’
A waiter called me ma’am. Also, the sauce was a little too saucy for my taste. I’m sorry, but I expect better service from a restaurant featured in Time Out NY. One star!
We were somewhere around the South Side on the edge of town when the drugs began to take hold. I was halfway through my third course when the giant bats appeared.
There was a smelly guy sitting in a booth next to me. Couldn’t enjoy my meal. This place sucks!
Don’t listen to the four hundred 5-star reviews. When I went the music was too loud!
Here are the series of events leading up to my visit to this place: the websites I visited, the reviews I read, the mood I was in, the time I arrived, the conversation I had with the maitre’d, the things I tried based on reviews (and which reviews I most expected to agree with).
No word on how the food actually was. Always includes the phrase “imagine my surprise.”
I never comment on these sites, but I just had to share my story.
lol this place is awesome!!!!11! joe was an amazing bartenderand omg haaaaa drink the witchesbrew,or maybe 6lol hahahahah loveit LOVE YOU JOE!!!!!!!! (sent at 4:47am)
Ugh, I loved this place before all the hipsters found it. Avoid.
There was nowhere for my stroller and they didn’t have any high chairs. No, I didn’t call in advance to ask, I shouldn’t have to.
Service was slow and the bill was expensive when I reserved a table for me and all my bridesmaids. We each ordered a completely different 10-ingredient cocktail and they gave some of us the wrong drinks. We did not leave a tip. Later we realized they had automatically added one! We will NEVER do a bachelorette here again.
This place previously housed my favorite restaurant, and now it houses a new one. I haven’t eaten at the new one but it SUCKS! Just like this whole neighborhood does these days.
I ordered plain noodles with sesame sauce on the side at the Chinese food place and it was not good, so the beloved general tsos chicken and the award-winning dim sum is overrated.
Haha, so perfect!
Perfect, indeed, especially “The Mommy.” When are these breeders going to understand that the entire world is not and should not be “child friendly.”
Breeders huh is that how you refer to your mother?